top fourteen music boners of 2009

After a break in year-end lists in 2008, I am happy to present my top fourteen music boners of 2009. These are all singles (or singles culled from larger works) that appeared high on my iTunes Most Played list, or simply those I consider the most interesting music of the year. Some, if not most, have mp3s attached, except in cases where it seems a bit superfluous. So, on with it, and remember to SUPPORT THESE ARTISTS.



1. Teengirl Fantasy "Love Don't Live Here" (Dick Move)

I know, Logan and Nick from Teengirl Fantasy are good friends of mine, so it might seem a bit unfair to name this the track of the year. But you know what? Fuck being fair. This is the most played song on my iTunes, the most spun 12" from the past few months on my decks, and genuinely the piece that gets stuck in my head the most. From their first official show in Oberlin (which was awesome, by the way) to insane European tours and mentions in BUTT magazine (among others), these boys got it going on.

Teengirl Fantasy- Love Don't Live Here



2. All Leather "I Don't Hate Fags, God Does" (Dim Mak)

I posted the video of this track a while back. For some reason, I totally adore this band, and though people have laughed at me for it, I'm not really one to care that much. The lyrics (after a bit of deciphering) are totally bizarre, transgressive, sexy, anti-capitalist rants. And there's so much bile in Justin Pearson's screaming that listening to All Leather is sort of like someone throwing up in your ears. In a good way.

All Leather- I Don't Hate Fags, God Does



3. Ancient Methods "Else (Ugandan Methods Mix)" (Ancient Methods)

Another weird one. Intense, stripped-down techno with an industrial bent that just fucking slams. If you're ever up at six in the morning and want to stay awake, just turn off all of the lights and play this polyrhythmic, raw-as-hell filth until your ears bleed.

Ancient Methods- Else (Ugandan Methods Mix)



4. Culoe De Song "African Subway" (Innervisions)

The tech-house wunderkind of the year, Culoe De Song's first EP actually lived up to the hype. However, "African Subway" was pushed aside by "The Bright Forest," which seems a bit cloth-eared to me since this piece is more interesting rhythmically and melodically, as well as being infinitely more anthemic.

Culoe De Song- African Subway



5. Lusine "Two Dots" (Ghostly International)

If you aren't singing along with this track by its mid-point, there's something wrong with you.

Lusine- Two Dots



6. Jackpot "Night Flight" (Rvng)

The Scandinavians continued to bring the disco insanity this year, and this piece by Jackpot sounds like it could have come out of the golden age of Italo. All that it needs now are some ridiculous lyrics, and you'd have the perfect throwback, replete with bouncing bass and lush synth groovage.

Jackpot- Night Flight



7. Azari & III "She's An Illusion" (I'm A Cliche)

Another Italo-inspired piece that also has some serious debts to pay to Detroit. Though "Reckless With Your Love" and "Hungry for the Power" are a bit more my style of well-produced gay diva house, something about "She's An Illusion" is really special.

Azari & III- She's An Illusion



8. Girls "Lust for Life" (True Panther)

As I type this, I'm in an airplane 37,000 feet over Colorado. I'm listening to this song, and I already want to insist that they turn the plane back because leaving the Bay Area is something that feels good in theory, but in practice, kind of sucks shit (in the bad kind of way). This song IS California, as far as I'm concerned, and I can't wait to get back so I can cruise around Oakland on my bike blasting this like I have during the past few months. Check the NSFW video below, featuring a cast of Bay Area miscreant homos and gender-fucks, including Hunx and Alexis from SORE.







9. Hunx & His Punx "Hey Rocky" (True Panther)

True Panther is the best new(ish) label in the states, duh, and though the original single of this track came out in 2008 (I believe— correct me if I'm wrong), it is still the best track from the Gay Singles album: catchy, fun, hip-shaking, and sexy in that cute-boy-you-smile-at-on-the-BART kind of way.

Hunx & His Punx- Hey Rocky



10. Sugar & Gold "Slice Me Nice" (Antenna Farm)

Not an original, so maybe it shouldn't be on here, but it is so catchy and so much gayer than the original that I sort of fell in love with it. With a fuller, brighter sound, along with vocals that are considerably less creepy than those of schlag-crooner Manfred Alois Perilano, the track actually makes the connection between cake and sex work quite well. Hungry guys eating pies, ha.

Sugar & Gold- Slice Me Nice



11. dOP "Horny" (Eklo)

These guys are the best thing that happened to techno in the past five years. Live instrumentation, jazzy arrangements, great rhythmic energy, and a lyric playfulness that just kicks the shit out of most other dance music out there. I gave this track to my girl Alie, and a week later she texted me like, "HOLY SHIT "HORNY" IS THE KILLER SHIT." And I was like, "DAMN RIGHT. LISTEN TO DAT SHIT WHEN YR FUMBLING WITH HER BRA, GIRL."

dOP- Horny



12. Electrik Red "We Fuck You" (Def Jam)

It's confusing to me that Electrik Red haven't caught on with anyone except journalists and faggots (LOL big dif right) in the US. "We Fuck You" is like the sonic equivalent of this hot bitch in heels kicking the drunk, sexist Tucker Max clone so hard in the balls that he wishes he'd never been born. Only Tricky and The-Dream could have helped these ladies pull this shit off so well. (Because I'm scared as fuck of Def Jam, just peep the vid below).






13. Nima Gorji "Hopp Hopp" (Murmur

I'm a sucker for ethnic vocal samples in techno tracks. The fact that the peeps repped here are the Romany nomads of Europe and not the usual (though still awesome) South American street kids or African shamans makes it all the more interesting.'

Nima Gorji- Hopp Hopp



14. Bookworms "African Rhythms" (Solos)

People in real life and on the internet keep on talking about this track, and how it should be released on vinyl, and how it is just so effing deep. And yeah, it is. I never want it to end.

Bookworms- African Rhythms

So party through the new year with all this biz. It was a great year, and I'm hoping that excellent stuff just keeps coming!! Stay tuned for the 10 best remixed music boners of the year, cumming at ya on Monday.

young horizons

Unless you've been sleeping on the house and techno scene in recent years, you know that some of the most exciting music being made right now is being produced by younger artists, some of them under the legal drinking age in the US. Today, a round-up of three sets of young producers who've been lauded for good reason.



First up, a group that hardly needs an introduction: The Martinez Brothers. With their 2007 club anthem "My Rendition" and recent work with DJ Robert and Argy, TMB are certainly going towards the top of the big-room techno world quite quickly, thanks to their astounding DJ skills and mentors like Dennis Ferrer. In case you didn't hear it then, here's "My Rendition" for your ears-- nice Ibadan-style house with serious momentum and great syncopations. Originally on Objektivity.

The Martinez Bros.- My Rendition (TMB Main Mix)



A hop across the Atlantic brings us the sounds of South Africa's Culoe De Song, a young prodigy whose EP on Innervisions, The Bright Forest, has been hailed as a return to deep, tribal house that the staid European minimal-drenched scene needs. Though the EP's title track has been getting a great deal of love, the best track according to many is De Song's "African Subway," a polyrhythmic deep blast that utilizes traditional African percussive bits, an incredibly powerful and echoing two-note piano stab, and some heavy, near-Africans with Mainframes style percussive flourishes along with squiggles and reversed-cymbal washes. One hell of a track, this one is best listened to at a loud volume in a club or a car, as its graceful subtleties don't come out as much otherwise.

Culoe De Song- African Subway



Finally, we come back to a native son: Detroit's Kyle Hall, an 18-year-old from Detroit who has been repped quite a bit recently by Reggie Dokes, Mike Huckaby, Omar-S and plenty of others. His 2008 The Water is Fine EP on Moods & Grooves is a three-track showcase of seriously groovy, percussion-heavy deep house, with lush summery synths, hi-frequency flourishes, and even a hint of acid. Hall is seriously the producer that I think should be watched most closely in the coming years, as his production and DJ skills are already in fantastic form, and can only get better, especially with such a great scene backing him up. Well worth watching his YouTube videos, checking out his Wild Oats label, and downloading his amazing recent mix for FACT magazine.

Kyle Hall- Create Your Own Existence (Track removed by request, email for details)