top ten remixed boners of 2009

As promised, here are the top ten remixed boners of 2009. Some old-school readers might be aghast at the dearth of deep house and techno fare, but if it isn't already evident, I kind of lost touch with a bit of that scene this year, mostly because I was poor and the whole vinyl-purity thing makes releases hard to buy when one's broke. But! The best album boners of the year will not disappoint, as the trend this year seems to suggest more quality house and techno albums are the new thang.

Without further ado...



1. Pictureplane "New Mind (Teengirl Fantasy Wide Open Edit)"

The Teengirl boys get two number ones in a row, but only because this remix (it isn't an edit, IMHO) just opens up Pictureplane's original in such a lush, delay-ridden way that it emerges more dubby, housey, and jackin' all in one fell swoop. Not to knock the original, which is a masterpiece of frenetic, early-'90s synth energy with a lovely stutter.

Pictureplane- New Mind (Teengirl Fantasy Wide Open Edit)




2. Rustie "Keesha Resmak"

Though it appeared on his Myspace only a few weeks ago, grime/dubstep wizard Rustie's unofficial remix of Keyshia Cole's "Shoulda Let You Go" is just so disgustingly good, it raises his game to new heights. As I said to one of my editors at XLR8R, "If all of this shit coming out of the UK had soulful female vocals over it, I'd be the happiest faggot in the world." And girl can really sing, which is no surprise since she's from Oakland. Seriously, this is a MAJOR JAM and will force people to get down.

Rustie- Keesha Resmak



3. Glasser "Apply (Lemonade Remix)"

The boys of Lemonade really outdid themselves here, taking the gorgeous vocals of Cameron Mesirow's original and laying them over what could be called a tropical dubstep beat, making the already-danceable original into something a DJ could lay on a floor during an early club set. Did I mention that Mesirow's vocals are just unbelievably gorgeous?

Glasser- Apply (Lemonade Remix)




4. Djuma Soundsystem "Bipolar (dOP Morning Remix)"

Take a rote tech-house track that sounds like a Booka out-take and give it to the boys of dOP and they're sure to mine some gold out of it. Adding super-processed vocals, delaying bits of the original's percussive flourishes, and building to an insane peak that I would LOVE to hear late night at a club sometime, this is certainly my favorite tech-house remix of 2009.

Djuma Soundsystem- Bipolar (dOP Morning Remix)




5. Omar ft. Stevie Wonder "I'm Feeling You (Henrik Schwarz Remix)"

Another unofficial remix that hasn't even seen release, as far as I know. A mastermind of remixes, Schwarz literally takes the original of this track and fucks it up so hard that all that's left are the soulful vocal intonations of Omar and Stevie. Nothing else remains, and quite honestly, this is a great thing.

Omar ft. Stevie Wonder- I'm Feeling You (Henrik Schwarz Remix)





6. Monika Kruse "Don't Come Close (Mark Broom Remix)"

It's a bit weird how much I like Monika Kruse, given that she's been doing the same sort of thing since the late '90s. Nevertheless, Mark Broom's remix of "Don't Come Close" darkens the original's tonal color, adds some excellent pans, and most certainly crafts a more tense peak, which explains why this piece was on all the Euro club floors this past summer.

Monika Kruse- Don't Come Close (Mark Broom Remix)



7. Hunx & His Punx "Dontcha Want Me Back (Teengirl Fantasy RIP NRG Remix)"

A work of gay house wizardry. Love everyone involved here, love this track, and despite my comments a few months back, really miss NRG.

Hunx & His Punx- Dontcha Want Me Back (Teengirl Fantasy RIP NRG Remix)



8. Codebreaker "Follow Me (The Juan Maclean Remix)"

This is the transformation of an Azoto-like Italo-disco number into a Chicago house track, replete with lovely piano flourishes and stretches of acid squelch. A summer jam if there ever was one, I can honestly say that The Juan Maclean are one of my favorite groups around, and I can only hope that everything fares better for them in the new year.

Codebreaker- Follow Me (The Juan Maclean Remix)




9. Toecutter "Best Party Ever (Flight Facilities Remix)"

As I wrote at XLR8R.com in September: Australia's Toecutter incorporates a Kool And The Gang sample into a filter-house track par excellence, then Flight Facilities reverse the process, using the original source material and pumping it up into a beardo-disco number that actually improves on Kool & The Gang's "Tonight," a near-impossible feat. Essentially, Flight Facilities just take out the stupid, stupid verses, and make this track all about the AWESOME SAX SOLO and the earworm of a chorus. Fuck yeah.

Toecutter- Best Party Ever (Flight Facilities Remix)




10. Tortoise "Gigantes Version (Mark Ernestus Remix)"

The Basic Channel member dubs out the best track from Tortoise's last album, adding subsonic bass, weird claps, and a foreboding sense of impending doom that the original just doesn't contain. Though I do like the remix that Eye (from Boredoms) did of a different Tortoise track, I find this one to be a lot more subtle in its slight tweaks of the original.

Tortoise- Gigantes Version (Mark Ernestus Remix)


FUCK YEAH. Coming at you on the 24th are the FULL-LENGTH BONERS OF 2009. WATCH YOUR EYES, GIRLFRIEND!!!